Fair is a non-profit organization dedicated to provide well-documented answers to criticisms of LDS doctrine, belief and practice.(1) Although their claims seem well balanced and flawless to the untrained reader, Fair has done a fantastic job of dodging the bullet. Philosophical fallacies being made in many of their arguments, but one stood much higher above the rest.

In an article called “Answers to 50 Anti-Mormon Questions” Fair tries to answer this question: “Since the time when Brigham Young taught that both the moon and the sun were inhabited by people, has the Mormon church ever found scientific evidence of that to be true? (Journal of Discourses )1870), 13:271)”

Fair answers: “Brigham and others were most likely repeating what had been told to them by the science of the day.” Fair continues: “Lots of Biblical prophets talked about the earth being flat, the sky being a dome, etc. – it is inconsistent for conservative Protestants to complain that a false belief about the physical world shared by others in their culture condemns Brigham and Joseph, but does not condemn Bible prophets.”

Has Fair really answered the question or simply thrown mud at those who threaten the validity of their early prophets? The question asks if the church has found any scientific evidence and the answer is virtually invisible. If they were truly prophets of God, wouldn’t they be discerning of the truth rather then following common beliefs of the day? As Fair attempts  to mirror a fault found in Brigham Young and Joseph Smith with faults they perceive in the Bible, they fail to give any specific Bible verses that talk about the earth being “flat.” Through personal research the only verses in the New King James Bible that contain the word “flat” are Leviticus 21:18, Numbers 22:31, Joshua 6:5 and  Joshua 6:20 — none of them refer to the earth. Fair could be referring to the numerous verses that say “four corners of the earth” or “ends of the earth.” (2)

With a greater understanding of Hebrew this “problem” may resolve itself. In the phrase “four corners of the earth,” the word “corner” is the Hebrew word “kanaph.” Kanaph means extremity. ” It is translated “borders” in Numbers 15:38. In Ezekiel 7:2 it is translated as “four corners” and again in Isaiah 11:12 as “four corners.” Job 37:3 and 38:13 as “ends.”

“The Greek equivalent in Revelation 7:1 is “gonia.” The Greek meaning is perhaps more closely related to our modern divisions known as quadrants. Gonia literally means angles, or divisions. It is customary to divide a map into quadrants as shown by the four directions.” (3)

So does the Bible actually teach that the earth is flat? A Spherical shaped earth is described in Isaiah 40:22 “the circle of the earth.” Not only has Fair blatantly misinformed readers about verses in the bible but has ignored important ones such as Isaiah 40:22.

So is Fair being fair about the information they provide? Have they provided “well-documented answers” as they so boldly claim? Or have they ignored important facts and details while highlighting their own ideas and biases?  Have they attempted to bypass the question altogether by shifting the focus to the Bible?

(1) www.Fairlds.org

(2) Isaiah 11:12, Revelation 7:1, Job 38:13, Jeremiah 16:19, Daniel 4:11, Matthew 4:8.

(3) http://www.christiananswers.net/q-eden/edn-c017.html

]]> http://upfc.org/2009/12/fair-is-not-fair/feed/ 0 http://upfc.org/2009/12/the-culture-surrounding-smith/ http://upfc.org/2009/12/the-culture-surrounding-smith/#comments Sun, 13 Dec 2009 01:28:53 +0000 mvidovich http://upfc.org/?p=295 By Matt Vidovich

By taking a glance at Joseph Smith Jr.’s genealogical history we can find much religious confusion, showing  an aura of faiths, superstitions, and philosophical ideas. Asael Smith, Joseph’s Grandfather was a Christian Universalist, with his unorthodox ideas, and relativistic train of thought he passed down a belief void of any spiritual significance. In a letter written to his children he writes, “I would not wish to point any particular form to you; but first I would you to search the Scriptures and consult sound reason…” (1) Solomon Mack, Joseph’s maternal grandfather, was converted to “Christianity” much later in his life. After his conversion Solomon wrote a book called “A Narrative of the Life of Solomon Mack.” In this he speaks about his visions and voices he had been hearing, these were the events leading up to his conversion. Smith’s Uncle, Jason Mack was a “seer” and started his own religious quasi-communistic society, leading thirty families, directing them economically and spiritually. (2) Along with Joseph’s rich folk-religious genealogy we discover both Joseph Sr. and Lucy having several accounts of visions. Some would say that this is the perfect recipe for disaster.

Joseph Smith Jr. was a natural born leader and many recognized his talent for having a very creative imagination from a very early age. As Joseph’s family moved from town to town, due to their financial instability the Smith’s found themselves in Palmyra, New York, in the heart of the “Burned-Over District” and only miles from the epicenter of the Second Great Awakening. (3) The term “Burned-Over” comes from the idea that this area was so heavily evangelized to that there was no “fuel” left to “burn.” Religious revival and debate was so thick in the air in Palmyra, where young Joseph would find himself engaged in the hype.

At this same time numerous farmers and towns people were confused about oddly shaped mounds they had been finding on their farms, fields, and properties. Farmers all over were trying to explain these mounds and their origin. What they didn’t know is that these mounds were burial and ceremonial structures formed by early Native Americans. Farmers who were unhappy with their virtually useless rocky land began fantasizing about buried treasure found in these mounds that would compensate them for their losses due to the lack of crops. This trend grew quickly and farmers where buying into this get-rich-quick idea, so much so that they were willing to use supernatural powers to find riches. Both upset with their rocky farm, Joseph Sr. and Joseph Jr. were not an exception to the treasure digging craze. A Palmyra Newspaper in 1821 reported that diggers on the Erie Canal had unearthed “several brass plates” along with skeletons and fragments of pottery.” (4) This being several years before Joseph’s claim of unearthing plates. Some local Newspapers were circulating the idea that these were pyramids of the Americas and that those buried in them were Egyptian, or of Jewish decent. This would explain Joseph’s interest in “translating” the Book of Abraham, and the Book of Mormon. One record claimed to be written in “Reformed Egyptian” and the other written in Hebrew.

A brew of religious perplexity among ancestry, society and self, Smith sot to answer not only those questions, but also the questions of the Mound Builders. Smith is known most for influencing the culture around him, but it could be said that the culture really influenced him. “For the book [of Mormon] can best be explained, not by Joseph’s ignorance nor by his delusions, but by his responsiveness to the provincial opinions of his time.” – Fawn M. Brodie (5)

(1) This letter was dated April 10, 1799 See Topsfield  Historical Society Colections, Vol. 8 pp. 92-4.

(2) Lucy Smith: Biography Sketches of Joseph Smith the Prophet and His Progenitors for Many Generations (Livingpool, England, 1853), pp. 21,52.

(3) “The Enduring Vision” 6th Edition Vol. 1 Boyer, Clark, Kett, Salisbury, Sitkoff, Woloch. p. 309

(4) Fawn M. Brodie “No Man Knows My History” the life of Joseph Smith p. 35

(5) Fawn M. Brodie “No Man Knows My History” the life of Joseph Smith p. 69

DNA has been telling truths for as long as we have known about it. Proving or disproving DNA can tell us loads of useful information, but it is up to us whether we decide to believe it or not. Many faiths have followers so imbedded in their doctrine that scientific proof comes second in line to their deity.

Joseph Smith the founder and prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints, or better known as Mormons, was either a victim of the second great awakening culture he was raised in, or he was who he claimed to be; a prophet of God. Joseph Smith jr. was raised into a poor family that moved from place to place looking for stability and a better income. The smiths were known for practicing “folk religion” and often times “warned out” of small towns and communities. Both of Joseph’s parents had numerous visions and prophecies through out their live time. Perhaps the most noted was Joseph Smith Sr. having a series of seven visions starting at the time when Joseph jr. was 5 up to the age of 14. These visions started after there move to Palmyra, New York. Coincidentally Palmyra was only a few miles away from the epicenter of the Second great awakening, in Rochester, New York.

As the story goes Joseph Smith jr. at the young age of 14 had a vision of God and Jesus Christ telling him that none of the churches were true, in fact all of their creeds were a “complete abomination in the sight of the Lord.” Joseph later was visited by an angel named Moroni, who told Joseph where golden plates were buried. These golden plates contained ancient writings of the people who lived in the Americas. In 1827 Joseph dug up the plates, and in 1830 the first copy of the Book of Mormon was printed. Thus the beginning of Mormonism.

In the book of Mormon there are stories of Israelites coming to the Americas. The stories tell of tens of thousands of warriors and thousands of people who were divided into two main societies. The Nephites and the Lamenites. The story of good verses evil is told through out the book. Nephites (the good) were killed off by the Lamenites (the bad), and to this day every Mormon sect weather main stream LDS or small polygamous groups believe in the story told in the book of Mormon.

An article found in USA Today, entitled “DNA research and Mormon scholars changing basic beliefs” tells of a problem that threatens the beliefs of many Mormon followers. Patty Henetz the author tells the story of a Mormon bishop from Brisbane, Australia who made a shocking discovery. Through scientific testing and research, DNA showed that the beloved story of the Nephites and Lamenites could not be the case. In fact DNA showed that those living in the Americas were those of Siberian and Asian decent. Author also points out that no archeological find for these groups have ever been found. These staggering stats create an obvious problem for the Church, and those who wish to defend it.

This discovery is causing many to go back in time and evaluate the very claim of Mormonism, and the very character of Joseph Smith. Has DNA put the faith of 13 million in jeopardy, or has it only strengthened it? After researching Mormonism for the past two years I have found this information to be consistent and detrimental to the Mormon faith. Latter-day saints everywhere should critically analyze articles like this, and ask themselves how many more discoveries will it take for me to conclude that Mormonism is only a reality in the mind of Joseph Smith.

If you are not familiar to the many cracks that lay on the basic foundation of Mormonism, then this may come as a surprise to you. For the past two years, my research on Mormonism has left me only more confused about basic understanding on LDS doctrine. As the list of questions get longer, the list of answers fade away. Through my numerous conversations with LDS believers, missionaries, bishops, and even stake presidents, one claim rang loud in my ears that could not be ignored. “Many Churches and other religions have Truth, but our Church contains the fullness. ALL truth.” Mormons everywhere love to boast that the LDS Church does not criticize others, this includes any type of religion, or view of God. Even Mormon Publication contain ridiculous euphemisms that soften even their own doctrine.

(1) “Because the Church was no longer led by priesthood authority and revelation, error crept into Church teachings.  Good people and much truth remained, but the gospel as established by Jesus Christ was lost, resulting in a period called the Great Apostasy.” http://www.mormon.org/mormonorg/eng/basic-beliefs/the-restoration-of-truth/the-great-apostasy

“Much truth remained.” Not a small amount of truth but “much truth.”

(2)“We have come not to take away from you the truth and virtue you possess. We have come not to find fault with you nor to criticize you. We have not come here to berate you. … Keep all the good that you have, and let us bring to you more good.” President George Albert Smith, quoted in Sharing the Gospel with Others, comp. Preston Nibley (Salt Lake City: Deseret News Press, 1948), 12-13; italics added.

Virtue you posses? Where does the Bible affirm that we posses virtue? Keep all the good that you have? What good are we with out Christ? “Keep all the good that you have, and let us bring you more good.” This sounds like the motto of Masonry, “Making good men better.” Do you begin to see how the LDS church covers it’s embarrassing doctrine to fit the politically correct world around it.

They also project this pattern that “Good People” have some truth, and some is better then none.  This idea “you’re not wrong, you’re just not right.” is pushed by the church, and is completely contrary to their own doctrine.  A prime example of this is found in the Book of Mormon:

“And he said unto me: Behold there are save two churches only; the one is the church of the Lamb of God, and the other is the church of the devil; wherefore, whoso belongeth not to the church of the Lamb of God belongeth to that great church which is the mother of abominations; and she is the whore of all the earth” (1 Nephi 14:10).

This verse in 1 Nephi gives readers a clear cut, black and white illustration of who is and who isn’t true followers of Christ according to LDS doctrine. In v.17 it tells us that if we are not a part of the true church, then our “Foundation is the devil.” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has a politically correct, postmodern way of presenting itself. It sidesteps the core of the issue and avoids any deep theological discussion, so as not to offend anyone.

Same statements have been made by the Church’s founding fathers. Brigham Young, John Taylor, James Talmage, Bruce McConkie, Joseph Fielding Smith, and of course Joseph Smith Jr.  Smith once said, “My object in going to inquire of the Lord was to know which of all the sects was right, that I might know which to join. No sooner, therefore, did I get possession of myself, so as to be able to speak, than I asked the personages who stood above me in the light, which of all the sects was right — and which I should join. I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong, and the personage who addressed me said that all their creeds were an abomination in His sight: that those professors were all corrupt . . .” (Joseph Smith, History of the Church, vol. 1, p. 5-6).

By cushioning the blow, the LDS church fails to be honest about their own doctrine. In closing I ask, how can any truth be an Abomination?

]]> http://upfc.org/2009/08/how-can-truth-be-an-abomination/feed/ 0 http://upfc.org/2009/07/witnessing-to-the-latter-day-saints-my-time-in-utah/ http://upfc.org/2009/07/witnessing-to-the-latter-day-saints-my-time-in-utah/#comments Wed, 29 Jul 2009 18:59:07 +0000 mvidovich http://upfc.org/?p=222  

            Well, I’ve been asked by several people to write a blog about my time in Utah, so here it is! We left on Saturday, July 11th on a plane from DFW Airport headed for Salt Lake City. One thing I noticed about airlines since the last time I flew…it costs a whopping $15 to check your first bag! That part wasn’t fun. And you’re not allowed to bring any liquids onto the plane that are over 3 ounces…which forced me to check my bag. Grrrr. Anyways, on the plane, I couldn’t help but wonder if the lady that I sat next to was Mormon. She noticed me listening to Hillsong on my iPod, and told me she loves them, and that she was going to see them in concert later this year. We got into a conversation, and I found out that she was actually not LDS (Latter Day Saint). I told her we were on a mission trip, and she thought that it was cool and wished me luck. We arrived in Utah, and met two ladies at our baggage pickup – Miranda Garrison and Bethany. Miranda was on a solo mission trip from Alabama, whereas Bethany was one of the actual missionaries in Utah. We went and got our rental car, then drove out to where we were staying in Ogden. We stayed at a place dubbed “The Blue House”, which is right across the street from Weber State University. We ate some pizza, sang some praise and worship, and then that was about it for that night. The next day was Sunday, and we all got the chance to attend the first service of a local Protestant church that was being planted called “The Peak”. It was held in someone’s backyard, and they had free food, so I was happy. Ha. We then went to a Mormon Ward at 1 pm, which is what a local Mormon church is called.
                  As soon as we walked through the doors, I felt an evil presence come across me. There were two head statues in the front of the building, one of Joseph Smith, and one of Jesus. It was just downright creepy. I saw a guy walking through the hallway, and asked him where we all needed to go, and he lead us to a Sunday school class. Yes, we all attended a Mormon sunday school class. It was rather funny, because with us, about 1/3 of the class was Protestant. We ended up watching a video on Joseph Smith and the spreading of the gospel around the world. We then went to something called a “Sacrament Service”, and listened to several speakers and watched as they did communion (we didn’t take part of course). One thing I noticed about the speakers, is they kept hammering the fact that all of us were so valuable….our lives are very valuable. It made me think of Acts 20:24, which says, “But I do not consider my life of any account as dear to myself, so that I may finish my course and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify solemnly of the gospel of the grace of God.” Anyways, after the service, we invited several congregants back to The Blue House for dinner. None of the people from the college age singles Ward came, but a couple that Jessica, Melissa, and Miranda G. invited ended up coming. It was awesome! Their names were Tony and Anna. We all got into a very good conversation with them as we ate. I originally wasn’t feeling good, and didn’t talk to them much at first….I actually had to go lay down on the couch for a while. I soon realized that I was missing why I was here…and that was to share the true Gospel with these people. So I said a quick prayer, sucked it up, got a bottled water, and went out and talked to them. I got to bring up quite a few points, such as being saved by grace through faith alone, and not of works. I shared a lot of important verses with them, and they seemed to listen with an open heart. The next day we actually received a note from that couple on our door telling us how much they enjoyed talking to us. They said it was very spiritually enriching, and that they were going to start reading their Bible more. It was a real blessing to all of us! We ended up going to the local Temple and Tabernacle in Ogden that day, where we once again got into a very deep conversation with two Mormon missionaries, that were actually from Texas! One guy was from Allen, and another from Beumont. I talked for about 20 minutes with them, doing nothing but sharing the truth with them. They ended up giving me a Book of Mormon, I took it and said thanks, and then took it home and began highlighting verses to help me with witnessing throughout the rest of the week. (Surprisingly, a lot of strange Mormon doctrine can be refuted with the Book of Mormon). Later in the week, we went to the Temple Square in Salt Lake City, and the 12 of us split up in to teams of 3. On my team it was Raechel, Caity, and me. I think we had a good team, even though Raechel had to remind me to let them talk too (I have a bad habit of monopolizing conversations at times…) But anyways, we first toured the Conference center, which has 22,000 seats….bigger than an NBA arena. Our tour guide was extremely nice, as was this man and his son that I met named Matt and Brady. They told me a lot of what they knew about all the paintings and stuff that we looked at, and then, at the end of the tour, I got the chance to witness to the two of them. I talked a lot about how the Bible doesn’t tell us to pray over the truth of a prophet so that God can reveal that he is a true prophet, but rather to examine what he says to see if it stacks up against the rest of the Bible and if what he says actually comes true. After that, we went to the Church History Museum, where we got into a really good conversation with a young guy named Tye. He was fun to talk to, because everytime he would give his own opinion on something, he would throw his tie over his shoulder to indicate that it was his opinion, and not the LDS Church’s. We talked for about an hour, and got into some very deep issues. After that, we all ate, then Raechel, Caity, Miranda, and I went and saw a movie on the Temple grounds called “Joseph Smith: Prophet of the Restoration”. It was very much propaganda, and extremely inaccurate. The man had about 33 wives, and only 1 was depicted in the movie. When he was killed by an angry mob, they left out the fact that he shot two people before being killed himself. He just took the bullets like a saint. I can remember after the movie ended just having a sense of outrage build up inside of me. There are just so many people that are deceived by this! I could really tell the Holy Spirit inside of me being offended. The outrage quickly turned to compassion though, as I saw that there were many people crying. They don’t know they’re in a cult. It’s our job to give them the truth! It just motivated me all the more to witness to these people. Later, we got the chance to attend a seminary class at the Institute of Religion at Weber State (they allow visitors). We went and sat in the class, and no one even noticed that we were visitors, much less LDS. At the beginning of class, the professor writes names up on the board of who was going to give an opening prayer, what Hymn they were going to sing, who would read the thought of the day from the scriptures, and who would close the class in prayer. I raised my hand when it got to the thought of the day. The professor wrote my name up on the board, and I was good to go. I actually chose to read a verse from the Book of Mormon – Alma 11:26-29: “And Zeezrom said unto him: Thou sayest there is a true and living God? And Amulek said: Yea, there is a true and living God. Now Zeezrom said: Is there more than one God? And he answered, No.” Now, anyone who knows anything about the Mormons knows that they believe that our God is only God of our universe. They believe there are other gods out there somewhere that govern over their own universe. Apparently, the Book of Mormon goes against their own beliefs. It actually sparked a rather interesting discussion in class. Later on, the professor gave us copies of the page of the book to cover different topics of so that we could compare LDS theology to something called Zoroastrianism, or something like that. I got the topic of marriage, BINGO! I knew God wanted me to bring up Mormons and their polygamy, primarily that of Joseph Smith. And as far as what ended up happening…let’s just say the professor raised his voice at me, very angrily, when I said, “But didn’t Joseph Smith have anywhere from 27-33 wives? And didn’t he actually deny that he had even more than one at all during his lifetime to the public?” He did, LDS historians confirm this, but the Professor dodge my accusation by saying that, “No, Joseph did not commit adultery!” Then he went on a big tangent trying to justify him, all in a very harsh, angry tone. One other Mormon student added, “Man, you sound like you’re going to fight somebody!” and the professor said, “Well, I take these things very seriously when someone accuses a prophet of God of adultery. I don’t know why we even spent this much time on this topic, but I guess we needed to for someone in here.” I ended up going up to the professor later and explaining that I wasn’t accusing Joseph of adultery, but that he denied that he had plural wives to the public, and only told the people “who could bear it” about his plural wives. That next morning, we all tried to attend another class, but we were stopped by the Director of the school, Steven Page, and the assistant director, Raymond Kelley. They very cunningly took us into the conference room, and very nicely said if we had any questions about the institution, that they’d be happy to answer them. I didn’t feel like talking at this point. I was angry that we weren’t going to get to attend a class, and on top of that, I’m not really much of a talker during the mornings, so I just sat there in my chair as the rest of the class asked general questions about the school. Then, something cool happened. A door opened up…Miranda Garrison said something, which brought the men to say, “If you have any theology type questions, we’d be happy to answer”. I instantly had a total change in attitude. I suddenly felt as though I had a million things to say, and where I should start first. I really felt God’s presence behind me, because I ended up talking to those men for the next two hours, giving them my own testimony, and sharing the Gospel with them. Every point they made, I had the perfect thing to say back. Verses that I had memorized when I was younger, all of the sudden popping back into my head. It was amazing! There was really no way I could’ve said the things I said if it had not been for God being behind me, giving me the wisdom of what to say. The rest of the week was fun too, we helped out at a Christian School Vacation Bible School, a Christian camp (we planted some trees, as you can see in the pictures), and then we also went white water rafting through the mountains. A lot of people have asked me why we bother with the mormons….they’re so set in their ways, there’s no way they could change. Well, I would like to totally disagree with you. On the plane ride back, I listened to an awesome sermon called “Being What you Are: Having too Low a View of Regeneration”. It really reminded me of our part in Evangelism. There is absolutely NOTHING we can do to manipulate someone or convince them to repent and believe the Gospel. Men are totally depraved, they love their sin, and do not want to come to God. It is only by the grace of God that men can be regenerated by the Holy Spirit to become dead to sin, and to become slaves of righteousness, as described in Romans 6. We are like the prophet Ezekiel, standing before a valley of dead, dry bones. God tells us to speak to the bones, and to tell them to stand up and become a man. No matter how hard we try, there’s no way we can do that ourselves. We could be standing there yelling until we completely lose our voice, and they would still be dry, dead bones. It is only by the POWER OF ALMIGHTY GOD that he commands those bones to stand up, and become men. We only need to be obedient in fulfilling the great commission….not because we are able to manipulate people to believe, but so that God himself can extend His kingdom, by the power of His own grace, and His own grace alone. I’m telling you this my friends, if it’s God’s will, he can break even the most stone-hearted Mormon into believing the truth. Just look at the Apostle Paul….he was killing Christians! It wasn’t until one day, when he was knocked off his horse by Jesus himself!! That’s the Sovereign power of our God folks! He is MIGHTY TO SAVE! -Brad

The reason this letter is being posted is because I want you to see how the hierarchy of the Mormon church desires to limit the “free agency” (an LDS term) of those with spiritual convictions other than their own. I believe there is a strong passive-aggressive tone to this letter, as the the Mormon church requests that our bright, wonderful young people stop carrying out the Great Commission at places that are clearly marked- “Visitors Welcome”

I wonder if the LDS church headquarters would comply if I asked them to stop sending their international army of 60,000 missionaries to our doorsteps?

I would love to know what you think about this letter.  Feel free to pass it on.

I know for UPFC, we have continued to let the Holy Spirit guide us as to where we go when carrying out the Great Commission.

May we never be pressured to stop sharing the truth in love,

Russ East
Director, UPFC

No other pursuit defined my adolescence more than the spiritual journey I embarked on during that time period, now ten years ago. After the experiences that resulted from my searching, I would condense lessons learned by saying that I strongly believe in the concept of Occum’s Razor…the simplest answers are most often the correct answers.

I was 14 when Mormon missionaries knocked on my door. During that time, I would go to any church I could possibly attend, either with relatives or friends. My mom had taken me to an Assembly of God church as a small child but had stopped attending church long before I reached adolescence. I was very eager to understand God and His plan for my life. However, when I am honest with myself, I realize that wasn’t all I was seeking. I needed a sense of belonging – the kind that I felt neither with my peers or my family. I wanted to be part of something bigger than myself, which in and of itself is not a bad thing. Yet, when that desire becomes so deep that it fosters dependency, it can be dangerous.

I will never forget that day. I invited them in, as I was always eager to discuss things pertaining to religion. In fact, this eagerness was so extreme that, for the problems I had socially and in my family, it was like pouring gas on a fire. I had memorized many Bible verses and never hesitated to quote them, with no regard for tact. The missionaries seemed excited to have a willing audience to their message. They told me the story of Joseph Smith and the First Vision, how God came and spoke to a young boy and answered his questions. I was less than graceful in expressing my disbelief and eventually showed them the door.

About a year went by, and that year brought many changes for me. My parents divorced, which was a good thing, and mom and I were adjusting to life on our own. My relationship with my first boyfriend had ended abruptly. The breakup entailed not only the loss of my boyfriend, but the loss of the only people I felt cared about me. I had gone to his church for a few years. When I witnessed the results of their practice of shunning, I wanted to leave. I knew I would also be shunned and it was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. It was a church that taught that everything outside of itself was evil and corrupt, so I felt that I would never find another spiritual community — as they were all considered to be part of the whore of Babylon. After the breakup and the loss of my religious community, I began binge eating almost anything I could get my hands on. Within a few months, I gained 35 pounds. Also during that year, I was assaulted by a family member. After he admitted what he did and I pressed charges, the majority of my family members pooled their resources and posted his bail. The feeling of betrayal was worse than the assault itself and I felt more alone than ever.

The depression and post-traumatic stress occurring after these events became so unmanageable that I required inpatient psychiatric care. After I was released from the hospital, I decided I needed a sense of freshness in my life. We had a neighbor who became a good friend, and she would help discipline me to take walks with her (which gradually helped me shed all of the 35 pounds). And I wanted to clean my room. I wanted to get rid of old and useless things, clear the air, clean up the dust and let the light in. I wanted to create an environment in my room that communicated wellness, stability and wholeness. During this process, I stumbled upon a pamphlet that those missionaries had left me during their visit. It had a beautiful picture of Jesus coming out of the clouds with his arms wide open. It was inviting, especially at a time when I was feeling so incredibly alone. It caused me to feel curiosity about this church that I had previously rejected. With a feeling that what I was doing would represent a huge change in my life, I dialed the number on the pamphlet. I knew someone there would be able to answer questions about the church. I got a machine, left a message, and waited with anticipation for the call back.

The first time I met with the missionaries, I was very excited. It provided that sense of newness and freshness that I wanted so deeply. Mom wasn’t thrilled at the idea of my getting involved with a church, but it didn’t take long before the missionaries became integrated into our lives. We would invite them over for dinner and eventually gave them a nickname – the men in black. I listened to the story of the First Vision, but this time had a different perspective on it. In Joseph Smith, I found someone I could relate to. I felt like I wasn’t all alone in the world. Here was a kid who was around my age who was wrestling with the same types of questions that I was. He was a kid who had sought out opportunities to learn about the spiritual paths available to him. However, I was concerned when I read that all other churches were an abomination unto God. I too had visited many churches and had met good, honest hearted people in them. To accept the idea that there was only one church that was not abominable in the sight of God would require me to deny my experiences that contradicted that. I simply could not do that. Also, this teaching was reminiscent of the church I had previously left. However, there were so many good feelings that I didn’t want to focus on the negative. For example, I was also taught by the missionaries about the quest for truth, how most people have part of the truth and that Latter-Day Saints believed in embracing all truth, regardless of the source. I was relieved to learn that, because that seemed more in line with what I believed. I decided I would focus on that. That was when I developed the technique of ‘putting things on the shelf’. If something didn’t sound right, I would just put it up on this proverbial shelf and try to make sense of it ‘some other time‘. After all, I was learning so many other things that resonated with me that I didn’t feel the need to get caught up in issues that brought confusion.

One of the teachings that resonated with me on a profound level was the idea that we had all lived with God before we came to earth and gained a body. As a very small child, I had felt that God was close and that He took an interest in my life. When I sang ’Jesus loves me’, I didn’t see it as an abstraction, I saw it as reality. I also felt that I had known and lived with Him before I had come to earth. In fact, if I focused, I could almost remember what it was like to be in His presence. It was nice to feel close to a father in heaven since my father on earth had been someone to fear. When these missionaries validated that feeling I had as a child, that created a bond to the church that would be difficult to break, if it ever completely broke at all. In no other church that I had been to did I find that teaching. It was something so special to me as a child and I thought of it as my own little secret. To hear someone else verbalize those very beliefs after all of those years was incredible, too amazing to dismiss as coincidence. After that, it became even easier to keep putting things on the shelf.

During the discussions, the missionaries had asked me to read the Book of Mormon and ask God if it was true. Once I did that, I felt a unique spiritual connection with God that I had never found elsewhere. I really did experience the ’burning in the bosom’ that is promised. In light of what they taught me about the plan of salvation, I felt that all three dimensions of my life – the past, present and future – all made sense. That none of my experiences, no matter how bad, had been in vain. The teaching of free agency and doctrines on families actually made me realize that, regardless of what my family life had been up to that point, I could choose the type of family I would establish in the future. I was not sentenced to perpetuating the cycles I had seen in my family, but I could learn and grow from my experiences and make sure that the cycles ended with me. I could make a wise choice in a husband and, with him, raise our children in a positive and healthy way. I learned that I was a daughter of God and that I was deserving of a loving family. That was definitely good news!

Still, there were teachings that I did not accept. For example, I immediately rejected the notion of getting married in the temple where those who were not LDS but who had made a huge positive impact on my life would not be invited. I remained close to only a few of my family members, and I did not want to alienate what was left of my family, when and if that time came. However, I could also put this on the shelf, because I was sure I wouldn’t have to worry about marriage for a really long time. Also, in the church I saw a wonderful community that I could contribute to in a positive way and that would help me become the person I wanted to become. And that is why I was baptized as a Latter-Day Saint.

This was a wonderful time for me. I felt that I understood God’s plan and my role in it. That brought some positive changes in my life and gave me a profound sense of purpose. I started to have more passion for life. I went from earning Ds and Fs in school to As and Bs. I began to actually care about my school work because my newfound faith gave me intrinsic motivation to learn. I fell in love with learning, because the church taught me that the more we learn in this life, the better off we are in the next. Thus, school became a spiritual experience. Even my teachers noticed that there had been a change for the better in my disposition. Spring was in full bloom and the campus of my school had tons of cherry blossoms. I saw beauty around and within me like never before. I started to like myself and I developed friendships. I wasn’t alone anymore. I belonged somewhere.

My emotions ran deep, but did not completely blind me to symptoms of problems in the organization. The first or second meeting I attended was a fast and testimony meeting, where members stand in front of the congregation as they feel led and declare their faith aloud. I noticed that many of the same statements were repeated over and over again. ‘I know this church is true’, ‘I know that Joseph Smith was a true prophet and that Gordon B. Hinckley is a true prophet’. ‘I know that the Book of Mormon is the Word of God’. I wondered why, if all of these concepts were self evident, there was a need for monthly reassurance of their validity. I also wondered how they could accuse Catholics of ’vain repetition’ when the nature of testimony bearing seemed to be just that. The missionaries asked me what I thought, and out of respect for them, I gave them my honest opinion. ‘I think everyone is trying to convince themselves’. I wondered why there was a combination of repetition and fasting, because that would seem to make an individual more prone to suggestion. I was also concerned that a church would be so focused on its own truthfulness. I wondered why, if this was really inspired of God, did we need to constantly reassure ourselves of His blessing. I had never heard during other services statements such as ‘I know the Baptist church is true and I know that my minister is a true minister from God’. So many other churches I had visited were more focused on helping people develop their relationships with God and their fellow man. I didn’t understand why the focus was on the church as an institution, an issue that would cause great problems as the years went on.

A few months after my baptism, I stumbled upon a doctrine that is a source of great embarrassment for the church, especially now that they are trying so hard to fit in with the mainstream. I was helping out in the church library, and overheard a conversation in which someone was talking about exaltation (which, up to that point, I thought simply meant going to heaven so I never questioned it) and ruling their own planet. I was very confused and I asked my Young Women president about it. She helped me to understand that this is what the term exaltation meant, and I was troubled because the missionaries had never elaborated on that. Yet again, I put this on the shelf. I rationalized it by telling myself that they probably thought I knew what they meant and there had just been a miscommunication. I respected the missionaries and considered them friends, so I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Simply because I had joined the church didn’t mean I was going to give up my inquisitive nature. I read the Book of Mormon faithfully and asked a lot of questions. Ward members were very gracious, but I sensed there was an issue and wondered if I was seen as sort of a nit-picker. I would ask questions about passages of Scripture that confused me, hoping to have a dialogue. In very kind and gentle ways, I was told to pray about those things. (Since the church doesn’t have a professionally trained ministry, leaders are usually not as equipped as a professional would be to provide insight and elaboration on the Scriptures) I didn’t really understand that, because I wanted to dig into the Scriptures and gain understanding. I knew that the book of Proverbs admonished us to seek for truth as for hidden treasure, and that was what I wanted to do. I felt that I had been given so much by finding this church, and I wanted to be the best daughter of God I could possibly be. I felt that understanding my faith on deeper levels would help me accomplish that. I soon learned, however, that church was not the place to dissect Scripture and address those types of questions, that I simply needed to pray and feel for an answer. Many years later, when I asked a missionary for his perspective, he angrily told me that he went to church to feel the Spirit, not to hear from the Scriptures.

Even when I first joined the church, there seemed to be fear in some of the ward members. During a conversation at church, something was mentioned about long underwear, and I asked one of the members about it. She became very agitated.

‘Nothing, it means nothing’ she said and then hurried me into the car. When I asked about how oil was consecrated for blessings, I received a similar response, although I found out years later that the church itself does not consider that privileged information. I also had many questions about the temple and couldn’t understand why it wasn’t discussed. When something is forbidden, the curiosity only grows stronger.

Within a few months of my baptism, I did get a chance to go to the temple with the other youth in the ward to perform vicarious baptisms for the dead. The Mormon church teaches that baptism by their priesthood authority is essential for salvation, that baptisms in other churches are not valid, however well intentioned the participants may be. They claim that the authority to perform baptisms was given to Joseph Smith by Peter, James and John returning to earth to confer that authority upon him. This is part of what Mormonism claims to be the ’restoration of the gospel’. Authority is deeply important in the LDS church. Because there is an abundance of individuals who have died without receiving Mormon baptism, one of the ceremonies performed in the temple is baptism on behalf of the dead. The doctrine is that people are taught the gospel (according to Mormonism) after they have died and passed into the spirit world, and have a choice to accept or reject it. If they accept it, they need a person on earth to be baptized for them, since they no longer have a body. Men are baptized for men and women are baptized for women. I felt very positive about participating in this. After all, the members explained to me that the atonement of Christ itself was a vicarious work – he was doing something for us that we could not do for ourselves. I was very excited about going to the temple, it was certainly shrouded in mystery. We drove six hours to the nearest temple. I was somewhat troubled during the ride there because I wasn’t really connecting with any of the other young people. I had so much passion for my new faith, and when I would try to share my enthusiasm, I mostly got blank stares. In hindsight, I wonder if perhaps they didn’t want to be involved in the church, but their parents made them go. Maybe they were wondering why someone like me, whose parents weren’t dragging them there, would be part of this voluntarily. Maybe they thought I was just nuts. I am guessing, but I will probably never know.

Despite the awkwardness of the drive, getting off the freeway, as I saw the angel Moroni over the trees on the spire, I felt like I had come home. We waited in the annex of the temple for a while until everyone arrived. The annex looked just like a hotel lobby. I remember sitting on one of the couches devouring the Scriptures. Once everyone was there, we went into the temple itself. We left the annex and went through a second set of doors. The funny part about the second set of doors was that the glass was designed in such a way that you couldn’t see through them. They were the entrance to the baptistry. As soon as I walked in, I felt very nervous. Everyone around me looked exactly the same, dressed in white jumpsuits. Those who worked in the temple to assist the patrons were in suits and dresses, but everyone was in white. I had never seen anything like that before. As I was handed my jumpsuit, I was trembling and had a few tears in my eyes. I made my way to the dressing room, and when I came out, I looked just like everyone else. In many ways, once I was dressed, I felt so much better. My whole life I had never been just like everyone else. I was always different, always an outsider. Now, I was an insider, and I was just like everyone else.

I sat with my YW president by the font, watching my peers get baptized. Everyone did 25 names while they were in the font, and my bishop was doing the baptizing. I was glad it wasn’t a stranger, because I had always been terrified of water. It was explained to me how happy all of the people would be whom I was doing this for and I was told that sometimes the spirits of the dead appeared in the temple when someone was being baptized for them. Finally, it was my turn. For as much as I dreaded being dunked under water, I did okay…until one name came up that I still remember. As soon as I was baptized for her, I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to get out of the font, but I had to finish. That is what was expected of me, and I didn‘t want to make a scene. I couldn’t get her out of my mind. Something was wrong, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. One night after I got home from the trip, I couldn’t sleep. I kept tossing and turning and felt a very dark presence in my room. I would hear that name over and over again when I did fall asleep, and then I would wake up. I didn’t understand why this was happening. The next morning when I walked out of my room, mom gave me a look that sent chills up my spine. She said ’You look like you’ve seen a ghost’. With as much as I had begged her to let me join this church, I wasn’t about to share any of what I experienced.

I don’t remember how soon it was, but I know that a time came when I attempted to address this concern. I spoke with a few of my leaders. Some said that perhaps this mysterious woman had not been receptive to the gospel and was angry at what I had done, but she has her freedom of choice. Why would someone reject the gospel? Well, because there was something wrong with them. Perhaps she had not been a good soul. Other leaders got irate and told me not to discuss this, especially in the presence of the other young women whose testimonies were fragile. Eventually, this incident would take its place on the ’shelf’.

The weeks and months that followed my baptism were very turbulent. Of course, I interpreted this as opposition from Satan, indicating that I must have done the right thing by joining the church. Mom had remarried, and my new stepfather and I did not get along, to put it mildly. At times, he became verbally and physically abusive, and I ended up running away. My stepfather’s behavior was not only a danger to me, but it was a danger to my mom. When I ran away, I begged mom to come with me and she refused. I stayed with my YW president for a short time, and did a lot of bouncing around for two years after that. Even though I have left the church, I could never deny the role that the members in my home ward played in helping me find my strength. I desperately wanted stability in my life, and I wanted to establish a life for myself that would minimize the impact of my families’ choices on my life. Months after graduating from high school, I decided to move thousands of miles away to Utah.

Once I made the decision, things happened very quickly. I found an apartment contract online, mailed a deposit and the signed contract and bought my plane ticket. I narrowed down my worldly possessions to two suitcases. I was excited about the adventures that awaited me in Utah and hoped that the move would give me the stability I was looking for and help me to become a better, stronger Latter-Day Saint. I also hoped that I would meet people in my age group who I could connect with. My bishop was very concerned about the move, but ultimately supportive. He and his wife had been so kind and loving toward me during those two years that I considered them family. They had helped me in ways they were not obligated to. I never question the sincerity and love of the people in my ward during that time period. They wanted me to be safe and independent. Not long before the move, Bishop J met with me in his office. He asked me if I had a testimony, and I told him I did. Then, he asked me if I was absolutely sure of that. He seemed worried about the impact that moving to Provo would have on my relationship with the church. However, Bishop J was a very kind and caring man and seemed torn. On the one hand, he wanted me to find safety and stability. On the other hand, he knew that Provo would present a different kind of challenge than what I was expecting.

There were some rumors circulating in my family that somehow the church ‘hoodwinked’ me into moving to Utah, that the church was to blame for my leaving, and there is absolutely no truth to that. I was never made any promises about getting into BYU, I was not coerced (if anything, my Bishop voiced his concerns about my decision) and I paid for my expenses entirely with money that I had earned and saved.

And so I proceeded to carry with me to Provo an excitement about the unknown, high hopes and dreams…and not much else. I had saved enough money to last for about a month, but I bought a one-way ticket. I knew I was ready to not come back. Up until that point, I had traveled no further ‘west’ than Tennessee and did not know a soul in Provo. I didn’t see it as strangers who awaited me – just a bunch of friends who I hadn’t met yet. At times, I still wish I had the optimism – and naivety – that I had then. I am grateful that I acted on that sense of adventure, my gut told me that if I didn’t do it then, I never would. I didn’t want to find myself an old woman one day regretting what I never tried.

When I arrived at the Salt Lake International Airport, the family of a missionary I had known back home was waiting for me. He had broken the rules and called home (missionaries are only supposed to call home once for Christmas and once for Mother’s Day) to make the arrangements. So, that night, they took me to my new apartment and I met the girl I was buying the contract from and my new roommates.

I was in awe of everything I saw – from the grandeur of Mount Timpanogos to something as simple as the Relief Society announcements hanging from the refrigerator. I hadn’t really had the experience of my home life and my church life being melded together, except for the people I stayed with when I ran away. Up until this point, I felt as if I had one foot in one world (that of my family) and one foot in another world (that of the church). I wanted so much to bridge the gap and be a good example to my family. I was amazed at the opportunity I had to have consistent support for my membership in the church right in my own home. My move to Provo had not been out of a desire to insulate myself and only surround myself with those who shared my faith. Yet, it was the ideal place for me to create a fresh start because I would have a built-in social network.

This was going to be great. On my second day in Provo, I took the bus by myself to the Provo Temple grounds. It was January and frigid, but I spent as much time there as I possibly could. It felt so surreal to have a temple in such close proximity. Not long before I had moved, there was a temple built about an hour and a half away from where I lived, and I had assisted at the Open House. This temple was practically in my back yard. I remember my jaw hitting the floor when I walked into Wal-Mart and saw the LDS section in the books, or when I heard the boy bagging my groceries talking about his new bishop. The church had never had such a strong presence in my everyday life – it was everywhere I looked now. I was living the dream.

I was nervous about going to my new ward for the first time. It was a BYU single’s ward, and so everyone there would be between 18-30, with the exception of the bishopric. The great thing about this was that not a soul knew what I had left behind. I had a glorious opportunity to reinvent myself, I could be anyone I wanted to be without the baggage of my past. However, my naivety manifested itself in thinking that I could take myself out of everything and be a whole new person. It took me a while to realize that removing myself from my circumstances had been a great start, but there needed to be a profound healing within my soul. My quest for that healing would come to define the years I spent in Provo.

There is more to come, check back soon for the rest of the story…

The trip started out by visiting Doris Hansen at her home. She gave a beautiful presentation on polygamy and the problems with live polygamy. She shared all about her ministry and how many people have gotten out of polygamy. We were all blessed by her presentation. The following day the group and I went to a LDS church service at the North Ogden Tabernacle. That church service overwhelmed the team to see so many lost people. They knew in advance that Utah is highly populated LDS but, to actually see it in person tends to overwhelm you. That is when the team learned that they need to be constantly be praying for the LDS community. That night this man named Dave who is LDS came over and talked with the team. He expressed his beliefs on why he believes that the Mormon church is the one true church. The team expressed their view on why the LDS church is not the one true church. Dave was not willing to budge with his faith. You can be praying for him. Later during the week we went to some Institute classes and it was there that the team had a chance to interact with people their age. They had many opportunities to share Christ with people their. Two girls from the group spent over an hour talking to a professor about Christianity and Mormonism. A man named Scott who was part of the team had a chance to talk to another young man at the institute. If you knew Scott, it is very hard for him to start a conversation, but Lord is always faithful.

Before the team had gotten to Utah, a few days earlier while walking to a bible study a girl named Keena met a girl who was LDS named Brittany. This was great how the Lord worked this out because this gave us an open door to share the true Jesus Christ later in the week. Brittany even brought a friend named Amy, so the team had a chance to witness to two people. Brittany and Amy were very receptive and they went home that night double checking everything we went over. I trust the Lord allowed us to plant a seed in both of them.

This was an unforgetful trip for the team. They learned so much about Mormonism so when missionaries come to their door they can put up a good fight with the Word of God. The Lord is truly working in Utah, it is still a spiritual desert that needs to be watered. Keep praying for these deceived souls.

Nathan Muldoon

When someone walks into my dorm room at Wellesley College, they inevitably comment on the books on my shelf. I have a sizable collection of Christian literature, but there are also several books on Mormon theology. I usually explain my interest in LDS theology by noting that I spent a semester at Wellesley conducting independent research on the co-evolution of early LDS theology and temple architecture in one of my art history classes (I’m a double major in Art History and Psychology). The truth goes much deeper than that: I have always known family and friends involved in the LDS Church, but when I got a chance to study LDS theology in depth for a school project, I was greatly troubled by the overt contradictions and unorthodox teachings I discovered.  As I prepare to graduate from college, I have thought a great deal about how I can intentionally walk through doors God has prepared for me in terms of service to the church and those outside it. With all of these things in mind, I began looking for a short-term ministry that would allow me to supplement my book knowledge of Mormonism with practical service and interactions with the LDS community.

I have to admit I was nervous about stepping into a ministry situation in a place I had never been and alongside people I had never met, but my time in Utah was full and fruitful: I had time to study and explore independently, but also kept a busy schedule with a team of college students from Morningstar Christian Chapel in Whittier, California. Together, we explored Salt Lake City’s Temple Square, took classes at the local Institute of Religion, attending a local Stake meeting, met with leading apologists Sandra Tanner and Doris Hansen, and had active LDS members over to the “Blue House” for dinner and discussion. One of the unique highlights of our trip was our trip to the Draper Temple – given my interest in temple architecture, this was an especially fortuitous opportunity for me to see the inside of an LDS temple.

God’s provision was especially evident in how we were able to meet and talk with local Mormons at various stages of life. One night, as Nathan Muldoon (a wonderful intern with UPFC, who spent the entire month of January doing outreach!) and I went to Weber State in order to join a small Bible study, we asked directions from a student, who eventually offered us a ride. It turned out that this young lady was an active LDS member who was also in my Institute-affiliated Book of Mormon class, and she and I developed a respectful friendship during my time in Utah. One night, she and a girlfriend, a recently returned missionary, came over for dinner, and we discussed their faith and texts. While there was no earth-shattering revelations that night, the next day my friend came to me with more thoughts from our conversation. As she and I sat and discussed the archeology of the Book of Mormon, she suddenly stopped, looked me in the eye, and said, “There’s nothing in the world that will confirm the truth of my testimony. And I have to fight for it everyday.” In that moment, I was suddenly aware of her incredible sincerity and her struggles with the Church, and I felt an incredible sadness as I quietly noted that God’s truth is eternal and will stand up to any test.

Additionally, God sent our team little reminders that it is He alone who prepares hearts to receive the simple truths of the gospel. One of the most encouraging experiences our team had came on the last day of our trip. We had organized a screening of the film The Bible vs. The Book of Mormon, and as we were setting up, a Weber State student stopped and asked what we were doing. One of the members of our team, Natalie began to talk with him, and when she explained that we can be in the presence of God simply by accepting the finished work of Christ on the cross, he was stunned. Growing up in and around the LDS Church, he had never heard the gospel presented in this fashion. As they talked for the next few minutes, he just kept returning to that central truth in awe. Later, a friend saw him crying in the Student Center as he read his Bible, and Natalie was able to talk further with him and exchange contact information. The most incredible thing about this encounter was that Natalie was one of the youngest Christians on our team, and was praying that the young man wouldn’t ask her for specific theological information. It was an incredibly humbling reminder for our team that while our preparation and knowledge is important, all of our preparation pales in comparison to the importance of communicating the gospel clearly and simply, and trusting God to do the rest.

I’m incredibly grateful that I had a chance to see how God is preparing hearts to receive Him in Utah, and excited to continue to invest in friendships and ministry opportunities with members of the LDS community.

Keena B.